Diabetes and depression come hand in hand, sadly. Excuse the pun.

When I was diagnosed I was horribly depressed, and obviously finding out I had this incurable condition didn’t make me any happier. A lot of research has gone into the link between the two things, with plenty of evidence suggesting that one can cause the other.

But I’m not here to get all medical on you, because frankly I don’t know enough information and you should never take medical advice off anyone without the proper training. Instead I’m going to talk about what I do whenever diabetes gets me down, how I keep the blues at bay, and how I got over the HORRIFIC INJUSTICE of finding out being depressed may well have caused diabetes to come-a-calling.

Cheer up love, it might never happen

Depression can happen for loads of reasons, but unlike my wife I’m not a professional therapist, so I’ll not go too far down that rabbit hole. However I do have something my wife lacks - a useless pancreas, so I can talk a bit more confidently about that.

This is how I’ve found diabetes can cause depressive thoughts for me:

The very idea of having diabetes is sad.
So you’re telling me I’m ill and it’ll never get better? Well that’s a bit shit. Most of the time I don’t dwell on this, but sometimes my mind wanders off into sad-land and I can’t shake the thought. Boo.
Bad blood sugar
Not only is having bad blood sugar physically bad for you, it can take a major mental toll. Sometimes it’s just frustrating, sometimes it ruins plans, and sometimes it can cause a genuine hormonal imbalance in your body that puts you in a foul mood. There’s no winning.
The doctors
I hate going to doctor’s appointments. Hate hate hate. I hate the smell of waiting rooms, I hate the sound of machines buzzing and whirring, and I hate seeing so many sick people everywhere I look. I know they’re important and I know I need to go, but that doesn’t stop me wanting to punch myself in the face.
Being told you can’t have tech
There’s so much cool technology out there now, and I want it all. However it’s getting rolled out slowly, with the most in-need patients getting first dibs. I guess that’s fair. But there’s a selfish feeling that says ‘bad diabetics’ shouldn’t be rewarded. I know that is wrong and I’m sorry.

What a lot of this boils down to is a feeling of being out of control. I find that’s when I feel at my most lost - when there’s a problem that I can’t solve and a lack of progress is being made. It frustrates me with everything - like a radiator not working, or a lightbulb that needs replacing - but with diabetes it’s beyond my capabilities, so there’s no way to make the frustration stop. So do I just end the blog there and leave you to deal with it yourself? Of course not!

Take back control

If a lack of control is at the root of the issue, I need to take some of it back. Obviously I can’t just fix diabetes myself, because if I could I’d be rich and surrounded by chocolate, but what I can do is make little changes that make the hard bits feel more manageable.

Remember you’re more than just a diabetic

Diabetes is only one part of you. If you look after it well, you barely have to think about it most days, leaving you with plenty of time to enjoy other aspects of your life, such as learning the play the flute or political activism.

Spot blood sugar patterns

I can’t guarantee you’ll never have bad blood sugar again, but if you keep an eye on it, you might start to understand what makes it go bad in the first place. Understanding the reasons makes me a lot less stressed. “What’s that? A high in the middle of the night? It’s probably that entire birthday cake I ate before bed.” The more causes you notice, the more you can do to cut them out and get your sugars back where they belong.

Treat yourself

The doctors is still shit, but I always treat myself to a nice coffee after to make the pill easier to swallow. If a trip to your GP is the highlight of your day, then obviously your day isn’t going to be great, but if you then go for a snack/ a shop/ the cinema/ the gym/ whatever floats your boat, suddenly your day is looking dreamy.

Stay up to date with tech developments

Now this one’s a double-edges sword. Being aware of the latest tech can make you feel a bit jealous, but it also gives you the tools you need to ask about it at your next appointment. When I got my first CGM (continuous glucose monitor, for anyone who’s not a nerd) it was only because I’d done the research and knew it was available on the NHS. I emailed my consultant in advance to let them know I’d like it, they told me they’d get one in, and a few days later I was leaving the clinic with the future stuck on my arm. You’ve got the right to ask. The worst they can do is say no.

Feeling happy yet?

Depression doesn’t just go away, otherwise it’d be called ‘feeling a bit sad’. But hopefully if you can get a good level of control over your condition, you’ll soon feel better about it. You’re welcome to feel depressed about anything else - I can’t help you there - but don’t let diabetes be the reason you’re in a downer. NEVER LET IT WIN.